If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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