Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
