I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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