So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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