Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
