just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
