I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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