is your mom at the bar?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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