i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
