i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
