he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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