I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize