Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
