Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
