Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
