we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
