16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
