I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
