shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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