I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
