Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
