just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
