He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
