She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
