jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
