too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
