she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
