Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
