WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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