are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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