I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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