Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
