so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
