im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Do vagina's smell?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And then he peed in my hair
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
