I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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