This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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