is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
