32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize