ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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