I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
