Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
