Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
