recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
