You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
