the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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