I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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