I murdered the dance floor call the cops
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
