Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
