the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
