so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
