I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize