No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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