Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
