she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
