i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
