Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
