The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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