Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Randomize
