The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
