blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
