I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
