either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
