i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
