If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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