And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
