God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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