Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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